Even the most well-intended parents that love their kids and try to provide the absolute best life for them (and sometimes the life they didn't have tor themselves) can still end up with a kid that's argumentative or skipping school or not honoring the rules of the family.
First of all, you're not alone. Statistically speaking, many parents argue with their kids. According to a recent survey on behalf of Sleepopolis, kids have over 4,200 arguments with their parents by the time they're 18, with 12 being the most argumentative age. And it doesn't help that there's no precedent that's been set for how to parent in the electronic/digital era. Most parents have little control over what their kids are being exposed to or the amount of information that their kids are consuming.
The world is changing so fast and no matter how hard you may try to shape your beliefs and your kids' beliefs, the world that we live in today is creating a lot of havoc within the family. Emotions get triggered and without a compassionate strategy for releasing their triggers, parents and kids alike stay stuck in dismissing, stuffing down or numbing their emotions. By distracting themselves with shopping or video games, turning to food for comfort, using alcohol or drugs to numb their emotions. And around and around and around it goes.
As a parent, you are your child's greatest role model. As you learn to process your emotions with love and compassion, you naturally model that for your kids. Just as you model turning the light off when you leave the room, saying please and thank you, or doing yard work, you can also model what it means to swiftly and lovingly release emotional triggers.
~ Your son thoughtfully apologize when he disrespects you.
~ Your daughter come to you wanting to express her feelings and emotions.
~ You disciplining with clarity and confidence, not backing down no matter how hard your kids try to manipulate the situation.
~ Your kids focusing on the task at hand, whether that be their school work, extra curricular activities, family game night or their chores.
~ Your kids motivated, excited and energized about their future.
It takes a positive outlook, strong and unwavering support, a nonjudgmental strategy, and the courageous decision to take action. It's about taking responsibility for your life first, reclaiming your personal power and seeing how quickly you can change your life and the lives of your kids. If you're willing to do what it takes, it's absolutely possible.
When you embrace your true emotions, family becomes a safe place for your children to land. Just as your mind records the images of events, your body holds the emotional memory of painful events. Until you allow yourself to feel those emotions and release them, you will repeat the same old patterns. Learning to feel your true emotions and releasing them may take a rather short amount of time or may take a little more time. Forgiveness sets you free, leaving you feeling kind, happy and loved. Your life will change to reflect your transformation, no longer repeating the same painful patterns and filling with compassion and a desire to help when others are in pain. You'll naturally start to model forgiveness (for oneself and others) for your entire family.
Many of the behaviors that are repeated in our old patterns are learned during childhood and carried within us into adulthood. Your self-talk reveals much about these learned behaviors, or what I call limiting beliefs. These untrue thoughts of not enough about yourself and the world act like a magnet drawing towards you people and circumstances that support feeling emotions that don't feel good, like anger, overwhelm and resentment. Becoming aware of and releasing your limiting beliefs makes room for new behaviors that attract people and circumstances that support feeling the emotions you want to feel.
Once you remember the truth of who you are, you can start to heal your relationship with yourself and with loved ones that might have hurt you. This allows you to let go of stress and the need to try to force things to happen. As you open up to being patience and flexibility, you may be surprised by how many new and unexpected solutions become available for minimizing stress and chaos within your family. Taking action on these new solutions brings about new behaviors. Your kids stop fighting and start helping each other. You stop fighting to be right and start listening from a place of love and respect.
As you relax into your truth, your focus naturally shifts from what you don't want to what you do want. You stop pushing your way through life and start allowing yourself to feel guided. Now you can create a Divine family plan based on what you truly want with the knowing that you are being divinely guided by your higher power. Life isn't supposed to be hard. If it feels hard right now it's because you are choosing thoughts and emotions that support life feeling hard. With a Divine family plan, you'll set intentions that support ease and grace, love and laughter, compassion and kindness. By setting priority actions that support your intentions, you create a strategy that feels purposeful and fulfilling.
Resisting your transformation causes more of what you don't want. When you resist change, you are saying no to what you want the most. During your free consultation, we'll look at what you most want to change about your current family dynamic, what you want instead and the best path for manifesting what you truly desire.